Friends can break your heart, too

Friends for a season, friends for a reason.”

It’s something my mom told me over the phone while I tearfully explained a broken friendship. I’m sure she wasn’t the person who coined the phrase originally, but it was meaningful all the same.

She also said, “sometimes, we must accept the end of something in order to begin something new.”

Can you recall a time a friendship you cherished came to a end? Maybe the relationship exploded with fiery fury over a misdoing or misunderstanding – or maybe it fizzled out over a longer period of time… drawn-out and distant, slowly fading into obscurity. Or, perhaps the most painful of circumstances, one can be simply cut-off or given the cold shoulder.

My perspective changed recently. I used to think a “cold turkey” approach wasn’t so awful. No one owes anyone an explanation, right? It was a callous approach to friendship, I realize now.

People feel deeply. Disagreements cannot be “talked out” unless both parties are willing to put themselves in each others’ shoes. If one party is seeking to find a resolution and the other either truly feels or feigns a level of indifference… then that’s their prerogative and it should be respected. Sometimes, it’s time to let go of the friendship, and that may mean ending a chapter we were not ready to close.

Friends for a season, friends for a reason.

When friendships come to an end, it can feel as painful as a difficult breakup with a romantic partner. But feeling that overwhelming sadness and loss is not weakness. It means you care.

I’ve chosen to allow myself to feel sadness when friendships have run their course. And while feelings of anger and frustration have not been foreign, it’s led to the understanding that there are always positive lessons to take away from certain seasons of life.

We all can only hope to become a better version of ourselves after heartbreak. Aim for better, not bitter.

And know you aren’t alone. ❤️

Jen xo

2 responses to “Friends can break your heart, too”

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